LOSING WEIGHT AND SMOKING CIGARETTES
February 10, 2011 No Comments
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LOSING WEIGHT AND SMOKING CIGARETTES
By: Robert Elias Najemy
Michael rejects Nancy for being overweight and she condemns his
smoking.
They have a discipline problem. They cannot control certain needs and
urges that are undermining their health and appearance. They both
reject themselves for this, but get angry when the other reminds them
of what they already know and feel inside.
Nancy does not realize she gets angry when Michael reminds her about
her weight or her eating because she rejects herself about this
matter. In turn , Michael does not understand that he gets upset when
she reminds him about his smoking and his health because he himself is
concerned about this. Each is reflecting the others own thoughts and
fears about him and herself.
Whenever Nancy reminds Michael or complains about his smoking, he
reacts like an adolescent and smokes even more, as if to establish his
freedom to do whatever he wants. Likewise, whenever he comments on her
weight or eating, she gets upset, and within the hour, sneaks into the
kitchen and secretly eats whatever will quench her unhappiness,
whether or not she is actually hungry.
Both are filled with feelings of failure, guilt, disappointment, and
self-rejection, but they also feel deprivation when they can not get
what they want. They are covering up and quieting other feelings and
needs through their cigarettes and food.
Because each rejects himself or herself, he or she also rejects the
other.
What could their lessons be?
Could they need to learn some of the following lessons:
That they are free to do whatever they choose with their lives.
That they are not better persons if they are able to employ a
discipline, and that God will not love them less if they arent.
That disciplines do not limit us but actually free us from needs,
desires and weaknesses.
That discipline is a basic path toward real freedom
To approach discipline as an adult who sees the value it has for him
or her because he or she sees it as the intelligent thing to do.
To get free from the role of the child and parent with themselves?
(The parent says they must do this so the child feels suppressed and
reacts. The parent rejects the child and so on.)
To love and accept themselves exactly as they are and to do this
discipline because they want to, not so they will like themselves
better.
To avoid employing disciplines to please others, but rather to do
them because they realize they are intelligent.
To think deeply about why they want to do this.
To accept others exactly as they are whether they are disciplined or
not.
To develop a deeper relationship with the divine within to become
more fulfilled from within.
To free themselves from guilt.
To realize that when someone reacts he is not really free, but is
instead limited by the need to react.
To free themselves from past experiences in which they have felt
controlled (or the danger of being controlled) by others.
To discover the emotions they are trying to cover with food and
cigarettes and release them
That they are divine beings and are lovable exactly as they are.
That their real freedom is emancipation from their addictions, fears,
weaknesses and reactions.
That they have the power within them to do whatever they decide.
If they accept themselves and each other, and approach the matter
with self-respect and logic, they will create the lives they want.
From the book”Relationships of Conscious Love”http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/
ebooks/index.asp
by Robert Elias Najemy
Robert Elias Najemy, a life coach with 30 years of experience, has created a L i f e C o a c h T r a i n i n g Course over the Internet. Info at: “http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp”>http://www.HolisticHarmony.com/introholisticcoach.asp. He is the author of over 20 books, 600
articles and 400 lecture cassettes on Human Harmony. His book The Psychology of Happiness is available at “http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20″>http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0971011605/holisticharmo-20 and Download FREE
100′s of articles, find w o n d e r f u l e b o o k s and get g u i d a n c e at http://www.HolisticHarmony.com
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